Choose your own adventure...

I've noticed that as I get deeper into my life here, it's hard to remember to blog. Here's what I think the reason could be: I have always been a fly by the seat of my pants kind of girl. So when things I are up in the air and I need to stop and think and breathe, I write a journal and work through things. When things seem good and easy, I am not as compelled to pick up a pen (or keyboard), as I am just taking the moments as they come. It's just a theory.

Walking to get candy for the staff at Bloomie's today, I stopped to look around at the Christmas windows, the decorations, the madness of Black Friday, the Tony Bennett xmas carols pouring out of the speakers, and I had a thought I seem to have about once a week. "Holy Shit. I fucking live in New York." It's so hard for me, even now -- nearly 6 months in, not to be amazed nearly every day. There is so much about living in this city that's constantly breathtaking. Be it standing on a corner, awash in 10 different languages, not one of them english, or standing amidst the hustle of the city in columbus circle on the friday after thanksgiving at 11 pm and just needing to stare. Walking to the subway, I had to stop and just watch. As I stood beneath the Time Warner building, a pretty piece of architecture in any light, but now full of huge colorful stars and surrounded by trees drenched in tiny white lights, I found myself momentarily mesmerized. I say to anyone who comes across this string of silly thoughts, if you take anything away from my ramblings, take this: Change your life. Just do it. Don't listen to the voices that say no or why not, just leap, make changes and with all your heart. If you're sure, if you just do -- the parachute will open, the ground won't be that hard. Leap and life will find you.

It was a good day.

Things in my life are good, and the things that could use some improvement are improving.

I choose to believe.

So, it's been way too long since I posted something. I find myself sitting down to write and I have so much to say, I can't decided where to start. I have accomplished so much since I moved here, though there is still so much New York to see. I've been here just over 5 months, and December 3rd will be the official 6 month mark. I have a job that's become a career, a few people who'd I'd miss terribly if I left, a recent promotion to a new store, and I'm happy. New York made me happy.

I think it would be more accurate to say that I learned how to find my own happiness out here. Leaving people made me see I'd be missed; living somewhere so new forced me to get to know myself, and moreso, to like myself.

My mom used to tell me I could accomplish so much if I'd just focus, and being focused and sure of myself now.. I see her point. There's more to be done, and more hills yet to climb, but there's a lot to look back on. I find myself full of advice that I heard from someone else long before I understood it.

I'm pleased right now, life seems to be giving me what I ask for as long as I am honest with myself about what it is I want.

There's more to say, but that will do for now.

-- Post from my iPhone

Boys are dumb

I don't know if there is anything more frustrating than being creepily stared at. I'm fairly certain "creepily" isn't a word, but it seems appropriate in this situation. I guess it either didn't happen in California, or I never noticed until I moved out here.

I'll be sitting on the subway and a man will sit across from me and lecherously stare at me; we're talking so intense and consistent of a stare that I will occationally look up and find my eyes drawn there unintentionally. This, of course, always makes the situation worse.

Ugh. Boys are dumb.

-- Post From My iPhone