I have a tendency to see my life in song lyrics, I have talked about it before. When I sit and listen to music, I get drawn into songs in a similar way that I am drawn into movies and books and stories and fantasies. I put myself, people I know, or stories that touch me into the world the lyrics build and use it to access emotions and explain to myself the deeper details of how I feel. Or... I just like to be touched, to feel that the things in my heart relate to the world.
Just today, I updated my status with a new guy in my life in mind. He's amazing and I am constantly excited about him. So I find myself in this silly school girl state of needing to talk about it, about him, about this amazing feeling. I updated my status to "Good things fall apart so better things can fall together." which is something that Marilyn Monroe said. I believe that. A friend of mine from home commented that she hopes it to be true... and I got to thinking about hope and belief in general. I believe that belief makes things happen. If you can truly believe, in yourself, in your dreams, they can be accomplished.
It got me thinking about some song lyrics (here's where I tie it all together) that touch me. Gavin DeGraw has been in my head a lot, the first album has a few songs about new love, getting to know someone and that time in between the moment you meet and the time you are actually a couple that sparkles. The time with the butterflies.
A few of the lyrics I like from "Belief":
Belief, makes things real.
Makes things feel, feel alright.
Belief, makes things true.
Things like you, you and I....
Belief - Builds from scratch.
Doesn't have to relax, it doesn't need space.
Long live the queen and I'll be the king.
In the collar of grace.
I'm gonna yell it from the rooftops.
I'll wear a sign on my chest.
That's the least I can do, it's the least I can do.
Mr DeGraw often speaks to my emotions, I find myself lost in what he has to say often. Feeling sometimes as though he's speaking only to me, I will listen to a song that applies to my life over and over.
Right now it's "Over-Rated", "Crush", "Follow Through", and "Nice to Meet You". I'm not going to post all those lyrics. The internet can find them for you, I'm sure.
*yawn*
nite
a
ps. This is running through my head over and over:
I suppose that I could hold it in,
But you excite my every cell.
Sources say that senses are your friend,
My senses say that I should tell.
Monday, December 29, 2008
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes...
There's something more clarifying and breathtaking about snow than about rain.
Since High School English with Ms. Priego and the endless, labor-some explanations of the Hero's journey, I have felt as though rain was a sign. A rainfall felt like a call for change, for growth, or simply a chance to cry in which your tears did not have to be alone. I felt clean when it rained, and I often found the rain would clear my thoughts. I have had a lot of moments of clarity and realization since I moved to the city. A few of them have been in the midst of a summer rainfall.
My trip to work is an awkward one as far as the transportation goes, I have to take the express train to Columbus Circle and then walk a few blocks to a cross town train in order to get to the East Side. Oddly, I generally find myself grateful for the walk from one train to the next; it's a moment for me to enjoy the city. Columbus Circle is my favorite place in the city, what with the view of Central Park, the Time Warner Building, and just the New York hustle of that spot at all hours. That said, getting out and walking through it to my next destination, it's always a moment of clarity. In both directions on my trip today, my moment of clarity was filled with softly falling snow.
I realized how lucky I am not to be a native to this city and how I can still find myself entirely taken with the first snow. The little patches green in front of fancy hotels and restaurants, usually a small and sad impersonation of a garden, however well dressed they might be, remind me now of a tiny fairy-tale land, mini trees glittering as the orange street lights dance on the snow. I don't know if anyone who's lived here for a lifetime sees it like that. I have to wonder how long the novelty will last for me, and I sincerely hope it will last as long as I live in this city. I'm told over and over again that snow in New York is dirty and disgusting, only pretty for fleeting moments. I occasionally feel overwhelmed by everyone's negative picture of what weather in New York in like. I then find myself reminded with a snowflake stuck to my eyelashes, that there is a yin and a yang to everything. I would never trade the moments that make me smile in order to rid myself of that which I am less fond.
My moment of clarity for today was just this: Life is beautiful. There is so much to hate, to be frustrated by, to feel jealous of... but there is just as much to love, to revel in, to be amazed by. Many of those moments come in the form of a new job, moving across the country, falling in love... the big, life changing moments. However, today I was reminded, that there is also just snowfall, light, a strangers smile, friends, music...
Revel in the little stuff, it doesn't cost anything and it makes you feel like a million dollars.
Since High School English with Ms. Priego and the endless, labor-some explanations of the Hero's journey, I have felt as though rain was a sign. A rainfall felt like a call for change, for growth, or simply a chance to cry in which your tears did not have to be alone. I felt clean when it rained, and I often found the rain would clear my thoughts. I have had a lot of moments of clarity and realization since I moved to the city. A few of them have been in the midst of a summer rainfall.
My trip to work is an awkward one as far as the transportation goes, I have to take the express train to Columbus Circle and then walk a few blocks to a cross town train in order to get to the East Side. Oddly, I generally find myself grateful for the walk from one train to the next; it's a moment for me to enjoy the city. Columbus Circle is my favorite place in the city, what with the view of Central Park, the Time Warner Building, and just the New York hustle of that spot at all hours. That said, getting out and walking through it to my next destination, it's always a moment of clarity. In both directions on my trip today, my moment of clarity was filled with softly falling snow.
I realized how lucky I am not to be a native to this city and how I can still find myself entirely taken with the first snow. The little patches green in front of fancy hotels and restaurants, usually a small and sad impersonation of a garden, however well dressed they might be, remind me now of a tiny fairy-tale land, mini trees glittering as the orange street lights dance on the snow. I don't know if anyone who's lived here for a lifetime sees it like that. I have to wonder how long the novelty will last for me, and I sincerely hope it will last as long as I live in this city. I'm told over and over again that snow in New York is dirty and disgusting, only pretty for fleeting moments. I occasionally feel overwhelmed by everyone's negative picture of what weather in New York in like. I then find myself reminded with a snowflake stuck to my eyelashes, that there is a yin and a yang to everything. I would never trade the moments that make me smile in order to rid myself of that which I am less fond.
My moment of clarity for today was just this: Life is beautiful. There is so much to hate, to be frustrated by, to feel jealous of... but there is just as much to love, to revel in, to be amazed by. Many of those moments come in the form of a new job, moving across the country, falling in love... the big, life changing moments. However, today I was reminded, that there is also just snowfall, light, a strangers smile, friends, music...
Revel in the little stuff, it doesn't cost anything and it makes you feel like a million dollars.
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