The madness of live theater.

So last night was a bit of a mess....

There are so many set pieces that we can barely fit people off stage in the wings, and just about everyones entrances and exits have to be very specifically choreographed, and even then, they are a little dangerous. And, frankly, there are too many people backstage, and they all think they know best.

And the museum case almost came toppeling down on my head. That was awesome.

So, the show seems to be coming together, in all honesty. There is set drama, and costume drama, but over all, there's a lot of talent -- and this madness is what tech week is all about, right? There's always major obstacles to overcome, and they are always over come. A lot can happen in 4-5 days.

As far as my performance goes, it's feeling very hot and cold. I have moments where I feel really good, and moments where I feel stiff and fake. I'm not really sure how to fall into step, over than just to stay focused and cool, and try not to let all the costume drama get my in over my head. The corset, and all the clothes, and tonight, all the wigs -- it's just realy oer whelming. It's funny, maybe I can draw from that too, to help create her. She is overwhelmed by the duties of being a princess, and I am overwhelmed by these clothes.

This whole process has been rough, I have learned more and more over the past few days, that not everyone is your friend, and not everyone means well. Not matter how sweet theater people can be, I need to learn to keep my guard up, to let people come to me. I want so much to prove that I am not a bitch or a diva, that I put way too much of myself out there. I need to learn to stay internal, and quiet, and let people come to me. Really, if someone thinks I'm a bitch because I am guarded, then they don't know me, and their opinion shouldn't hold so much water to me.

No one's opinion of me should be as important to me as it is. I need to learn to just like myself, and not give a fuck if anyone else does. But that's really hard.

Deep breath. :)