There's no business...

Ok, so I have come to the offical decision that I hate the last couple weeks before tech week. Or maybe that's just this show.

I am just feeling so disjointed about the entire show. It's not just finding a flow to the show, and figuring out my arc, but it's just my character in general. So many aspects of her I feel like I totally understand, and so many of them are just still so intangible to me. I just don't think I am particularly elegant or graceful. I don't think that people who know me who use those words to describe me, and I think there's something missing in my general physicality and posture and such. I wasn't raised as a princess, and I am a goofy comedienne.

I did "I Know the Truth" for the first time on tuesday, and though I had worked it vocally -- it was not at all what I wanted. My voice, like my body has been so dehydrated and tired lately, that I find myself just "done" so much earlier on than I used to be. I think I realy just need to start getting a good night sleep every night -- and I need to drink more water. As much as it helps me to function, I really think the caffine over kill is causing havoc with the chords. :( Besides the fact that it felt a 1/2 step lower than I had been working it -- I just wanted it to be a little more still, but I found myself moving more than I meant to. I don't really know where it came from, perhaps it was the emotion of the song -- or the weirdness of the key. Not sure.

There has been a "moment" in almost every role I have had in the last few years, where everything clicked, fell into place, became clear to me. Where I found my step, found my niche -- and it's usually about now, a couple weeks before the show goes up.... and it's not here, and I'm panicking.

I am actually wondering if I am going to be any good -- I know my singing will be fine, the ending fine... but what about in between?? -- I just wonder if I have enough time left to really find her, and do her justice.

hmm.