Good Coffee Every Morning

Well, it might not have been the day off that I intended, but it certainly was a lovely day off. I think everyone has those days, where things don't go the way you've planed, but they go well nevertheless. (Random fact of the day: My step dad had a cat named Nevertheless.) Brett and I made plans to start our day at 2, which gave me the morning to laze about.

I got up, and I checked my myspace -- which seems to be something I physically have to do when I'm near a computer. Sometimes it feels more as though it's out of habit, than about a desire to be on myspace. I'm not alone in the compulsive need to know if anyone's communicated with me recently, I've seen it in others. We all constantly check our phones, emails, etc.

There was a new blog on Tony's page.
He's coming home.
Moment of shock.

After talking to him for a while, we talked about him coming to New York. It's such a magical place to start over, and I think he'd love it. So much happens here, and with all of his wild energy, there'd always be someplace to expend it. After a bit of the conversation, I began to think about what it would really be like to have him here. We were such a rollercoaster, so good, so bad.... Now that we've found this comfortable place to fall back into, I hope we don't lose sight of it. There's so much possibility with us, and really the only missing piece was the tangibility.

I remember how I felt during SATC, the way the whole movie was about forgiving and believing and meant to be and true love. And how he ran through my head in every moment and every speech about loss of love or friendship. I think too about the place I'm in now and the place I was in after we broke up. The healing has not been easy, losing him was like losing a piece of me, and I had to put myself back together. Though, I do believe that scars make you stronger.

At the very least, I'll have a friend in the city. Someone that makes me smile, and laugh, and with whom I can undoubtedly be nerdy. It'll be nice to have his laugh around.

It's just very surreal. Cool. But surreal.