A Case of the Mondays

First of all I hate mondays.

I had a pretty nice weekend, though. Thursday was Joanna's birthday party at 1984 is SF and it was an awesome night. It was really nice to catch up with my girls and hang out in the city, it's been a little too long since we were all at the same event. I partied a little teeny bit hard and was rather exhausted the next day, but talked to Cel awhile about wedding locations. I can't believe sometimes that she's the first out of our crowd to be getting married.

Other than that, most of the weekend was uneventful, though we a Mother's Day Brunch in San Jose with the whole family, and it was nice to see everyone before I leave.

I'm just feeling so much in limbo right now. I dont' want to be in this temp job, I don't want to be on this coast, and I don't want it to be Monday.

Walking back from lunch today I started to think about what a mess of emotions I am right now. I'm so excited to leave, and when I think about it, I get so pleased and proud of myself for taking this leap... but I'm sad to leave my friends, and I'm scared of the summer. Summer is my time, I live the whole year for it, and now it's this big question mark. I'm also sad about things I should have let go of already. I have to wonder if things bother me because I'm truly attached to the people I miss or because I'm a problem solver and I love a challenge. I miss having someone dorky to make stupid jokes with. I think I'm just sad because the move is stressfull. I hope that's all it is, because I need to let go of these feelings... they aren't healthy and I know he doesnt miss me.

i'd never wanna see you unhappy,
i thought you'd want the same for me...

goodbye my almost lover
goodbye my hopeless dream
i'm trying not to think about you, can't you just let me be
so long my luckless romance
my back is turned on you
should have known you'd bring me heartache
almost lovers always do

Just another emotion I need to learn to shake off. I'm so much stronger than I have ever been, but it's not enough to make this go away. It'd be so nice to make this go away.